I'm the Victim

Sitting here, Janet Jackson bringing memories of that trip so long ago...that solo trip...that liberating, amazing trip that I took entirely for granted, for a love waiting at home. Now, he's not waiting. I sit here on a Tuesday afternoon, counting the minutes before I have to de-fog, raise from my couch, and enter the world. Ugh. I'd rather maintain my fog. Slowly. Falling deeper into a creative haven, where I control everything. I don't control anything out there. It's all up to something else. It doesn't matter "what" else, it just matters that it's not up to me. There are minor things I can take under my wing, control for the time being, but ultimately, I am a simple pion in this world of chance, this world of fate, this world consumed and smothered by faith and living a righteous life, this world that continues to go on, with or without me. We're all just along for the ride, I think. I don't know if there's something better beyond this, but I do think there is something else. But, like that trip I took so long ago, I don't want to take my life for granted for what I think might be waiting for me out there...