On A High Note

I'm not really stressed about my lifestyle at this point...not as much as I lead on to be, I guess. I'd like to believe that my subconcious is allowing Fate to take a turn for once in a while without having to obsess over something. I obsess. I let things get to me. That makes me tired. I'm feeling so lazy about finding a job, a plan, a lead, a something...
I guess I know that I can only procrastinate for so long. I won't let myself get in too deep. Maybe that's why my subconcious is okay without thinking about it for a while. (A "while" in my world is a couple of weeks...tops!)
I definitely need to be more pro-active, and I think day by day that is becoming more apparent. I'm also a bit conflicted about what direction I should choose. I could get a job continuing with my editorial career, or I could apply to another organization to teach abroad. There is also this faint interest I have in obtaining my teaching certificate to have the option of teaching English at a high school level. That's not something I ever wanted to do, but I decided that long ago--Now, I feel myself leaning in that direction sometimes. Two practical choices, and one not-so-practical.
Then, I think, Oh, what about a practical choice in a not-so-practical location...this is what I do to myself when I do start to think about my situation. Hence why I have found a little bit of comfort in not doing anything. But the day will come...it's inevitable.

On an emotional note: I felt like Debby Downer this weekend, filling neighbors and family in about the goings on. I described my feeling as defeated. I know that from here, I can only go up--that's the positive note; but, emotionally, I do feel defeated. I'm also disappointed, pretty fucking angry, and just plain sad about everything too. This year has been the epitome of that cliche emotional roller coaster, and I'm looking forward to new beginnings.
I just need to embrace the emotions I'm feeling and work through them...oh blog, how I love thee.